fh_office

After hearing about the antics of the gingerbread man in town yesterday, Daphne from the Attendance Office was being paranoid about holiday-themed foods around the place. She could swear a candy cane was watching her. It was really creeping her out throughout the day. She could only hope that it wouldn't follow her home tonight.

The candy cane in question rested on the Steve from Accounting's desk. Menacingly.

This could only end in tears.

Bob Gremlin walked into the office a changed man... err, being. He was determined to find himself a girlfriend, so he had given himself a makeover. He was now everything a woman could want, a tall, muscular being with great hair.

It wasn't the stilts that made his coworkers laugh. It wasn't even the bright orange clown wig that made them laugh. It was the fact that he actually found a padded muscle suit in his size and painted it green. That put it over the top.

Bob Gremlin knew he was doing good here. Women loved a man who could make them laugh, and here he was, not even trying!

Chuck was adjusting to life in the office rather well, even if he did make a habit of stealing any paper clips he spotted, then bending them into unnatural shapes while taunting them with phrases like, "You had it coming," and "Now you know how my family felt." All things considered, he was practically normal.

The small rodents marching through the office weren't, though. "3.1415926535..." the rodents chanted. "...89793238..."

"What the hell is that?" Chuck asked.

"Arr, those be pirats," Jerry from Accounting answered. "Mathmatical buccaneer rodents. They showed up last spring and now they be touring this port again. It be Talk Like a Pirate Day, after all. Avast!"

"You're a weird kid," Chuck said.

"Yarr."

"...5923078164..."

[OOC: If you'd like to encounter a pirat, feel free to mod them. Otherwise they'll stick to the office.]

Another day with a spiked drinking fountain...

Today was a potentially dangerous day to be in the office, although most of the drones were unsure why. You see, the office staff wasn't fully formed until last spring, during Principal Smith's tenure. Therefore, most of the people in the office had no clue who the handful of stonefaced workers thought they were, no matter how many millimeters their eyebrows raised to alert everyone that they had best tread lightly.

It was only a matter of time before Joe from Admissions took a spoon to the gut, really. He survived.

Barely.

With everyone back from vacation and the school year now in full swing, the office staff was ready for any kind of excitement they would experience.

Maybe too ready and with too loose a definition of "excitement."

"Ow! My toe!" one office drone yelled after stubbing his toe.

"Awwwwwww," almost the entire office said.

"What? It just hurt a little. I'm fine."

"Yaaaaaaaay!"

"Please stop cheering."

"Boooooo."

"You are not a live television audience!"

"Hahahahaha!"

For one final day, we're taking a trip into the OCD-addled filing cabinet of Fred Trooper.

Form to Mess With Space and Time in Your Room

Student Name:
Room #:
How will you be messing with space and time?
Why will you be messing with space and time?
When that's all done, will you have still filled out this form?

Form to Suggest Office Forms

Student Name:
Suggested Form Title:
Likelihood of the form being used and processed:
Why do we need this form in the office?

Continuing on with our magical journey through the mind of a clone warrior who has nothing to blow up and has thus succumbed to his OCD...

Request for a Room Transfer to Another Dimension

Student Name:
Current Room:
Dimension containing desired room:
Reason for switching dimensions:

Application to Juggle Kittens

Student Name:
Number of kittens:
Estimated juggling ability:
Will you juggle any non-kitten props with the kittens? If yes, list them:
Problem Solving: What will you do if a kitten bites you while you are juggling it? Please keep in mind the other kittens who may be in mid-air.

Another day, another couple forms displayed for the public.

Equest-ray o-tay Eak-spay In-ay Ig-pay Atain-lay All-ay Ay-day

Udent-stay ame-nay:
Oficiency-pray ith-way eaking-spay Ig-pay Atin-lay:
Eason-ray or-fay eaking-spay Ig-pay Atin-lay or-fay a-ay ay-day:
Ill-way ou-yay ommit-cay o-tay icking-stay ith-way it-ay? (Y-ay/N-ay)

Form 419: The Application to Fill Out Form 419

Student name:
Year:
Why do you want to fill out this form?
What do you think filling out this form will get you?
Why not fill out another form?
Have you filled out Form 419 so you have permission to fill out this form?
All work and no play makes Fred Trooper a dull clone bred for war.

Continuing with yesterday's theme of rarely seen paperwork, Fred Trooper had created even more forms.

Application to Be Turned Into a Large Land Mammal (horse or larger)

Student Name:
Type of mammal to be turned into:
Likely name if the student were a large land mammal instead of human (or the equivalent):
Hooves? (Y/N)
Would you be willing to relocate out of your dorm room until the transformation is reversed? (Y/N)

Application to Take a Leave to Become a Cereal Mascot

Student Name:
Cereal Name:
Primary components of cereal (puffs, flakes, chocolately, sugary, marshmallows, etc):
Catch Phrase (i.e. "I go coocoo...," "They're greeeeeeeast!" etc.):
Are you prepared to defend yourself from now mostly unemployed and now murderous cereal mascots, such as Frankenberry or that alien thing from the Quisp box? (Y/N)

Over time, Fred Trooper has put together a great many forms that he would like students to use to satisfy the military OCD genetically programmed into him. While the office staff in general believes that the majority of these forms can and should be ignored, it can still be worth a look to see what one person expects us to record.

Application to Strike Another Student With a Punch

Name of Puncher:
Name of Punchee:
Reason for Punching:
Desired Degree of Injury:
Will it be a sucker punch? (Y/N)
Explain in at least fifty words why Constable Fraser should not detain you:

Application to Have an Evil Twin

Name of Student:
Name of Twin (if Twin is to take a different name):
Method of Twinning (mutation, cloning, alternate universe, etc):
To the best of your knowledge, has it been at least two months since the last Evil Twin experience in Fandom? (Y/N)
Explain in at least one paragraph how your twinning is a fresh idea:
Goatee? (Y/N)

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Entries tagged with new forms

Fandom High Office, Monday, December 11

Fandom High Office, Tuesday, September 26

Fandom High Office, Tuesday, September 19

Fandom High Office, Tuesday, September 12

Fandom High Office, Tuesday, September 5

Fandom High Office, Friday, August 25

Fandom High Office, Thursday, August 24

Fandom High Office, Wednesday, August 23

Fandom High Office, Tuesday, August 22

Fandom High Office, Monday, August 21

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